Beautiful Disaster
by LoveHurts.LoveBites
Summary: This is a non-fiction text about Marcie me a grade 9 student just finishing her first year of highschool and going into her first summer as a highschool student. She not only has her problems and boy issues to deal with but her friends aswell and her faith. This story about me and my friends is one most girls can relate too. It will keep you not only entertained but wanting more!
1. Prologe

**Beautiful Disaster**

_Prologue_

Men. Boys. Guys. The one thing we crave, no **need** as a teenage female. Our lives revolve around them, yet we as the female race get hurt by them so very often. I myself have been hurt by many people said to have loved me, only to find out it was some big joke. We all think we have found the "one" only to soon find out that well, he wasn't. Countless times we put ourselves out there, only to be damaged more and more by the ones we thought cared. Then what do we have left? I tell you, we females have the best thing left, no not chocolate, but each other. We as females have each other to support us when we have been damaged by the ones we desire. Now, I have many interesting tales to tell related to this subject, but why tell you old stories when I could just introduce you to my life? Full of drama and most of all, heart break. What we thought was going to be the best year of our lives, has been changed into a huge learning experience for us all, that will not leave our minds. We go thru ups and downs with relationships and, are faced with some very hard decisions. But in the words of my friend, this is high school. We don't need to worry about if we'll be with the same guy in ten years let alone next year! We can pick and choose as we want because this isn't the serious world, this isn't the world where the decision of who we'll date next will be our husband, it's the learning years and the years to have fun.

Hey guys, this is just the prologe, Im working on chapeter one. Please send your review:)

This is a non-fiction and fiction put together so I can only take so many ideas

Thanks!

Names for this book have been changed for pravicy issues, most text and events are 100% true


	2. Chapter 1

_Chapter 1_

Feelings. They seem to overwhelm us. Being a teenage girl isn't the simplest thing to do. You wake up in the morning bombarded with feelings and thoughts and it becomes overwhelming. You don't know if you should be sad you had to wake up or happy it's going to be +22 outside. And that's just the **start.** Don't even get me started on school or friend issues. And it gets worse when your body decides to start to PMS on you. But the absolute WORSE to me is feelings for people. More specifically, guys. You see it was never a big deal in elementary school, but now it's the shit! Their supposed to dictate our every thought and consume our dreams! I honestly wish I could have a break of it. No one really understands unless they too have been placed in the same situation or have helped someone in one. But in the end it won't matter because they come back to bite us all in the ass. Well, that's what I keep telling myself, cause well it's true. I'm living it right now at this present moment in time. Ask my friends that understand, better yet, come spend a day with us! You will see that it is very messed up and that we indeed need the break, but sadly the break wouldn't come to us. So, as I sit here pondering before bed, I'm very confused as to HOW to get this break. Okay...Maybe I just need some sleep then tomorrow morning I can sort things out the proper way. But in the end it will end one of a few ways, which at the moment I am figuring out the rest, I only know 2 for sure and I have just discovered a 3rd, but explanations for them will come later on, they aren't important at the moment. Trying to sort out my problems is. I mean it's not just my problems, there's also Sam's problems and Marissa's, which I am helping with as well to an extent. Breath. Okay, well, I obviously need to get my thoughts on one track and get sleep! Turning out my light I slowly sank into my bed, consumed by the darkness surrounding me, my head still buzzing with my thoughts of the day. It didn't seem to matter whether or not I told my body to sleep or not, my thoughts would continue to play threw my head. Slowly they calmed down, like how bouncing balls start to slowly stop, and I soon fell asleep, instead of dreams, I was bombarded with a rush of blackness which was soon replaced dreams.

I awoke in the morning with a smile, which to be honest was the first in what seemed forever. I had so many things going on right now that the morning smile that embraced me, seemed to be everything for those few minutes. I walked into the bathroom barley fighting to stay awake as I normally am. I turned on the shower, quickly undressed and then was welcomed by the warm tiny droplets of water that caressed my skin with each drop. It always felt so nice to shower when I first awoke, it always gave me time to think over my day plans and get things organised. I didn't want to be awake so early on a Sunday morning but it's what happened because of Church. I slowly awoke, able to embrace all of my Sunday morning. As I started to awake, my memories from the previous day came flooding back. The good, the bad, and well, the ugly. I hadn't been able to concentrate at all that day on my religion exam review, mainly because the most important person in my life was ignoring me. I don't quite know if this is a sort of game boys like to play but, they get you worried and wondering then they won't answer your texts for 48 hours or the inboxes your friends send to them for you and then they come and text you with a "Hey look I don't like you anymore. Sorry" And what the bloody hell am I supposed to do? Sit there and be all like "Oh, pfft it's fine! I'll just pretend I never fell in love with you and try to move on when deep down inside you have just shown me love doesn't exist!" No, I told him there was more too it. We had talked, I told him I feel for him like...in love. Since he hadn't gotten the letter I wrote him yet, I was screwed and had to start from the beginning. In the end we decided to be best friends still and well do all the things we were going to. Sure I enjoyed that part but...Still Colton was my best friend and I didn't want this to be messed up anymore then it would. (Meaning of Mallory, unlucky) _'Calm down Mar, it'll all be alright." _I knew I was over dramatic about these types of things but it was only because I was tired of it all. I finally decided to get out and get dressed. Slowly, I walked out of the bathroom, trying to decide what to wear. After picking out simple clothing, I tip-toed down the stairs as to not wake my mom. The rest of my morning seemed to pass in a blur, except near the end of Church. Sitting listening to the last song as I sang it, I soon realised it was sort of like what I was asking the Lord to help me with. The hymn was entitled Precious Lord Take My Hand. The thing that struck me the most was that it was someone asking God to take them home and help them through this time of difficulty. I tried to excuse it as pure coincidence. As my grandmother and I drove home, 3 songs in a row stuck out to me. The first was One Thing by One Direction, I had been singing that in Church, and I had listened to it the whole week that Colton and I had our thing. Then the song Warrior came on. To me it meant that I had to stay strong, like Sam from YEO had been telling me too. And finally give your heart a break by Demi Lavato. I really noticed this song for it's lyrics because I had told Colton the day before it didn't matter if he hurt me because love didn't exist to me anymore. This song was pretty much telling me not to give up but to take a break. The rest of my day was spent doing review till I remembered I had play rehearsal. Sure, it was as boring as hell but it was worth it because I got to see some of my favorite ladies and my 2 guy friends. When I first arrived everyone was outside in the scorching heat. As the time passed my friends finally arrived, so I wasn't lonely anymore. I finally decided to tell Tiffany what had happened between me and Colton because she was on I usually kept up to date on this stuff. I told her what he said and how I explained everything to him since he hadn't received my note. I also told her how I told him love didn't exist to me anymore and I said we could still be friends when he asked. After that the two of us had decided to keep our summer plans and our lunch plans the same for next year, so nothing really changed just I had feelings for him and he had zero for me on the level. Over-hearing the conversation my friend Paris interrupted. "And who told you he'd leave you?" She asked. "You..." I said lowering my gaze to the cement. It's true, Paris had told me that he would most likely do this to me and that I could do better. The only reason she knew was because she had gone to school with him the year before. And the only reason I didn't listen was because I was hoping he'd change for me, but no, it ended exactly how Paris said it would, me broken hearted. The only person who actually somewhat cared was Tiffany, but she was always there for me and that's why I loved her. The rest of rehearsal was a blur to me. I told Tiffany and Olivia about this book and they we're quite happy to know they were in it but besides that, I was completely lost in thought. When I got home my dad was out by the pool and started emptying my pockets, and took my glasses of the top of my head. Before I realised what was happening, I had been thrown into the pool and was screaming. The coolness of the water had formed goose bumps on my arm, causing my hair to stick up on my arms. My short-shorts now felt like they were 100 sizes too big, and I was lucky my sexy belt was holding them up. My shirt had started to sink but had luckily just ended above my chest area, and my hair...it was a mess. For the first time that day, my mind wasn't on my problems but on having fun, like it was near the end of rehearsal. After swam around I was called out for dinner. The rest of my night was review and trying to get my phone to work again since it only did for an hour. At 12 AM I was shooed off to bed. That night my dreams were filled with memories from the past, and ones that seemed all too real.


	3. Chapter 2

_Chapter 2_

I honestly don't know if things could get worse or better. Nothing overly important happened, but then again I don't see Colton till tomorrow (Friday). It had been a normal week with the exception of my math EQAO which was my math exam since I was in full year, and my drama exam which was the onstage portion. With exams coming up my mind was literally all over the place. I had spots thinking science and another with English and on top of that I balanced religion. I felt like review for all those subjects was just pilling up by the minute! The only thing that kept me sane was the Morning Prayer group that some kids from YEO had started and my friend Drake. Drake and I had been friends since grade 8 when he started YEO too but we really became good friends this year. He too was going through a rough patch and had turned to me for help, so most nights we would talk on Skype and try to sort out our problems. He'd tell me that I was beautiful and amazing and I could do so much better then Colton. I would tell him the girl he liked didn't like him so it was time to move on and find someone just as good. He was like my brother and I his sister and he had told me so one night. He sent the message "I love you" with symbols. I questioned him on it and he said he loved me like a sister, which wasn't lying because him and I walked to and from school together and we talked every night so we were very close. It seemed to me that the week had dragged on with lots of stress, review and prayer. I prayed more than usual this week, I wanted answers and I wanted them well now. It seemed every day I prayed for answers I got none, I didn't know if God had some waiting list he put me on but I sure felt like one of those kids that gets left out. I was tired of trying to make it right and just wanted it to be right. If I could honestly go back to the past and figure out why things had went the way they did I would so I could fix them and make them better, but obviously that was out of the question and I would have to continue praying until God was nice enough to present answers to me. I knew that tomorrow night at YEO during praise and worship I would end up bawling again because I was mad and had felt God did something I didn't appreciate. I felt like God had taken Marcus from me. No he wasn't "mine" in the sense that we were dating he was _mine_ as in my best friend, the one person who knew it all front cover to back cover. But then one day he liked some other chick and started ignoring me and pretending I didn't exist. I swear, I could have jumped off a bridge and he wouldn't have noticed I was no-where to be found. I probably could have hurt myself right in front of him and he'd pretend he never saw it! Okay, that may be over-exaggerating it a bit but you catch my drift right? I just felt like that one person that had understood me better then my own best friend Samantha, was leaving me alone in the dark. The one month I probably needed him the most he decided to pretty much screw me over. I guess it didn't matter anymore. The summer would come and he would pretend I never existed. I'd just have to live with it and hope maybe he'd come around again. I know God was trying to tell me something, but there was too much pain at this moment in time I couldn't concentrate on what he was asking of me or telling me. I wish he didn't make this so hard! Some days I wished I could go back and tell myself that hey, you're going to lose your best friend, the guy you like, there's issues with your dads health, and you honestly didn't want to be alive right now. Drake was really the only person keeping me from going totally crazy and ending my life right now. I started going to Morning Prayer group and well now I was going for good. I started at the beginning of the year then I stopped and well now I'm going again. Drake and Jayden always made my mornings brighter there. If I didn't say hello and good morning to Jayden he'd get very upset with me and then make me say good morning then he'd pull me into a huge hug while making a weird noise between an aww and daww. It always made me smile. Then he'd say "Good morning beautiful!" and start a conversation. The day before Drake and Jayden were playing catch with my shoes and making me jump around to get them until Drake picked me up and swung me around so I wouldn't get it. I ended up getting my shoe back and taking one of Drakes while Jayden tried to get it after prayers and succeeded. Sure this has no major importance but it kind of did. It's probably not that obvious but at the same time it was. It was probably the first time I had smiled out of free will and was able to forget all my problems for just a little while, sort of like God had taken them and placed them on him to help me with. Sitting on my bed that night thinking of the days events, I thought even though he put them back on me (or so it felt) he was giving me a break. Maybe he was trying to show me something I didn't understand yet, but I would soon. Very soon...


	4. Chapter 3

It had come. The one day I had been dreading yet fantasising of had come. Friday. Sure it was a normal day for me, EQAO was done so I was back to first period and that was quiet a bore as well. But when the night had come, there was no turning back. Drake had forced me to go to YEO because it was the last one for the year till the end of the year retreat which was next Friday and he wasn't going. I didn't have much of a supper, but that was alright with me, I wasn't that hungry tonight anyways. I went in, expecting to find Colton standing right there. If he was I'd run off crying because I didn't know how well I was going to handle it. My mom had sensed something was wrong and I had to explain it all to her. I was told that day to that Colton may not have liked me because his friends influenced him. Told him I was ugly, dumb, disgusting, out of his league, not worth his time and that he could do **so** much better then me. I guess he caved in or something but he didn't like me. It could have been what I said but...it didn't matter. On top of that my "friend" Kylie had agreed during her gym class and said I relay could do more with myself. My "best friend" Amelia agreed so Malia came and told me during religion which threw me right off my rocker. I knew that I'd mention it hopefully sometime to him that night. When I went in, I saw him helping out to set up Sunni's game, but Drake was right there. I ran to him and gave him a huge hug then went and saw Samantha and Haylie, my two closest friends. Colton saw me and said hey so I quickly said hey to him. After being passed around for hugs, us three girls and Drake headed outside so he could show me part of the game. I saw Alisha, who was like my older sister. She assumed we were going for a walk so we went and I grabbed Colton to talk to him. He said he had no clue what I was talking about when I said what his friends said, and said it was probably my friends which really confused me. He also told me he told Jamie, a good friend of ours, what I had told him because she was "awesome" but he promised not to do it again. There was some talk of our summer plans. We were for sure going to dye each other's hair and he was going to teach me how to long board. It was allot of small talk that was sort of awkward. I didn't know what to do. We went inside and played the indoor games then ventured outdoors for the outside games. With the luck I had, Colton and I were on the same team and well...that was odd. It was hard but we managed to ignore each other well...more there was little contact. After we finished we went indoors and had a donught eating contest, then Praise and Worship. We went in, expecting it to be boring or something but had alot of fun. We were told to hide so Hayley, Sam and me all went and hid under pews at the back. Colton hid across from me so we bugged each other till we were told to get out. We went to sit in a pew right behind Drake and Colton, and as we started, I was having the best time for once that week! But of course all the memories of the year started to come back, and with it, my issues. I kneeled and started praying to God, hoping answers would come this time. Suddenly, I felt my shoulders start to shake, I felt the cool smooth path of a tear falling to the end of my cheek, then falling onto my jeans. I started to cry and ask God why he was doing this to me, why he wasn't giving me answers, why I was still living. I knew Sam saw what was going on. I ignored her because we were used to crying in front on each other. It was Colton I was really worried about. Through all my crying I could feel a pair of eyes on me, not staring but like they were watching me. I slowly lifted my tear stained faces to see Colton sitting right beside Drake. Out of the corner of his eye he was watching me. He didn't seem happy or sad or upset. He looked more concerned but then again I couldn't really tell. He did this a few times not saying anything but watching as tears fell from my eyes. Through the songs I continued to pray and find answers. Because I was crying so much I hadn't noticed that Sam and Hayley had traded spaces, and Hayley had started to rub my back. I got up and she put my head on her shoulder, rubbing my hand. She understood what I was going through, she herself had been down that lane. I could hear her heartbeat, smooth and steady. In an odd way it was reassuring, like she wasn't going to be leaving soon. "Everything will be okay Marcie, I promise" She muttered to me. I eventually calmed down, just as we were heading into the cafeteria. Drake realised I had been crying to so he smiled at me, the way he does when he knows I'm upset. Colton also smiled at me, like he was trying to say that he still wanted to be good friends. I stopped near the chapel door as Hayley pulled me into a hug. Sam came and joined in, and we all sat there for awhile. Alisha finally came over, joined in then took Sam away to talk to her, so I headed off to the washroom. Hayley followed me and asked what was going on so I said I'd explain, but before I could do anything she went off about her grade 11 boyfriend, second grade 11 one that semester and well year. We went into the caff. There were boxes of pizza and pop. We were instructed to only eat 2 pieces of pizza. I grabbed one for me as Hayley grabbed two rootbeers and headed to the nearest and quietest table. We went to school here so we knew the tables that were isolated more and that less and less people went too. I started by explaining the issues with my dad, and how we didn't know what was wrong. Then I moved on to Colton and how I sensed awkwardness. Then Marcus and how he was ignoring me. I looked up and saw her face was concerned, like she really did care. "I think I'm loosing everyone I love Hayley." I told her. "Please don't be next." She looked at me like I was stupid. "Bitch, I'm going no-where!" She said a smile spreading across her face and she placed one of her brown hairs back into her ponytail. The smile from my face disappeared. "Theres one more thing" I said. "Marissa's flirting with Sam's boyfriend. She asked me not to tell her." I started. I then launched into my tail of the texts messages and the promises and how he was flirting right back. Her reasoning was because "She's done it to me too". As I finished the story, Hayley was shaking her head. "Wow..she's being really shallow!" She said, the anger rising. "You need to tell Sam." "But I promised Marissa I wouldn't..." I started. "Who do you care for more Marcie?" Hayley asked. I didn't even need to think about it. "Sammy" I said. It was true, Sam was like my sister, nothing really ever kept us apart. She was my un-biological sister, Hayley too. That day Jayden adopted us as his sisters, so I took it seriously. "I'll tell her, since we're all sisters." I said smiling as Sam walked over. "Hey um..Sammy I need to talk to you know." I said meeting eyes with her. She instantly became concerned and sat down to start picking at her piece of pizza. "Yeah of course..." She said staring at Hayley as though she may know something, she just looked at her like she felt sorry and started sipping the rim of her cup. "So...Jake...he is cheating on you." I said trying to say it slowly so both of us wouldn't start crying. Her face fell and I could see the confusion building up. "Marissa and him have been flirting for awhile. I only know because I've read their conversations." I said as if answering what was most likely going to be her next question. "He called her baby and asked her to the mall first," I said not able to meet her eyes. "He asked her to meet him at his locker. She asked me not to tell you. She said she would if he tried to make a move on her but I couldn't just let him do this too you." I said slowing watching her put down her pizza. She chewed for a moment, I was worried she'd start to cry. But instead Jayden came up and interrupted, talking about how he was happy he adopted us and offered us chips. Jayden is a really sweet guy; he was raised as a true Christian and took pride in it. He was also very sweet to everyone but especially ladies. He always let us go first or complemented us. Every morning he'd say "Good morning beautiful!" And expect a hug. He always had a shoulder to cry on and he never hurt someone on purpose. I snapped back to whatever we were talking about and saw him smiling at me. "You okay Marcie? You look kind of out of it." He said smiling at me, concern forming in his face. "Yeah! Sorry just zoned out" I said smiling at the ground and grabbing my piece of pizza. "Okay, well I'll see you in a bit, eh?" He said waving and going to bug some of the other kids. We instantly went back into our conversation. "What did I ever do to Marissa that would make her do that!" She asked, the temper rising in her voice. "Well...she said something about Cory, and when we went on that date, but it wasn't a date to you and all that stuff." I said staring into my can of Root beer. "Well, that wasn't even I date!" She said clenching her fists on the table. "**HE **looked at it like that, not** ME**!" I felt bad for Sam, she was always nice to Marissa, and then she went and treated Samantha like crap! "I know, you were just there for Nathan and I." I said meeting her eyes. "And plus you didn't even call it a date, you called it helping your bestie get the guy! Oh, she also said there were other guys." I said looking out the window at the clear star filled sky. "What other guys?" Sam asked starting to get upset again. "Look baby, she's being a bitch, just ignore her!" Hayley said looking at both of us in the eye. "Okay, well that's obvious, but what am I supposed to do about Jake?" Sam asked, the tears forming again. Hayley and I shared a quick glance then went into serious mode. "Well, in my opinion I think you should dump his sorry ass." I said looking at her. "You deserve much better than him. All he's done is screw you over!" I said, my own anger rising. People from YEO passed us and looked, but happily kept to themselves. "Yes, I agree with Marcie." Hayley said. "You can do better than him." Silence fell over us, we all sat there soaking up what we had just been told. I felt as though some stress had been released from me, but I wasn't 100% satisfied. "Yeah, tomorrow I'm going to call him and say it's over!" Sam said breaking the silence. Nothing much happened after that, we were called over in groups according to gender to talk about the yearend retreat. Colton was going to that...I hoped things would work out for us by then. We ended up talking about what girls sensation was about then all left singing _Just the way you are _by Bruno Mars, one of my favorite singers. As we opened the screen that was separating us, we realised the boys had placed the garbage and recycling cans on the door, so we needed to move them which was a task and a half. As I was walking back to our table, Jayden stopped me half way and asked for a hug. Thinking nothing of it, he gave me a huge hug, picking me up. He soon started saying "Did ya get her shoe?" I soon relised Drake and him were trying to steal my shoes like they did every morning. "Hey!" I said as Jayden laughed at me and Drake laughed pulling on my shoe. I tensed up my toes which made it very hard for him to get my shoe, but he some home managed to get it off. Jayden put me down. "Sorry beautiful, but I had too!" He said running down the caff. "Hey Drake, pass it over!" He said pushing up his glasses. My shoe went flying through the air, I booked it down the small path way between the tables trying to get it before Jayden did. He just missed, as did I, but my friend Ellie managed to get it. "Ellie, please pass it over! It's my shoe!" I said pleading with her across the table. "No No Ell, pass it over here!" The two boys taunted, a few of the others starting to clue in something was going on. She started looking back and forth, then finally threw it over to Jayden. "Ellie!" I said looking at her with disbelief. "I thought you were on my side!" "I am, I am! I just..." She started to say. I didn't give her a chance to finish. I ran after Jayden and Drake as they threw my shoe to each other, me screeching behind them. After 2 or 3 minutes of this, Mr. Briggs realised something was going on. "Boys, give Marcie back her shoe please." He said walking by casually. Drake passed my shoe over and the two of them came to stand in front of me. Jayden had brown hair, like his other 8 siblings. It was a little shorter than his ear and he had glasses with a rectangular like frame that really brought out his eyes. He was well built, a foot ball player, but the sweetest boy ever. Drake, he had brown hair too, a little shorter then Jayden. He had circular glasses, that made his eyes appear droopy but in a cute way. He was tall like Jayden, but bigger than him. He too played football and was much like Jayden, very sweet and caring; they were both like my family. They both smiled at me. Right then I knew I wouldn't be able to stay mad with them. The three of us burst into laughter which resulted in hugs. I was walking back to get my things to leave when Colton walked by. "Hey Marcie!" He said, a big smile on his face like he always said this. "Oh hey Colton, going to the retreat?" I asked, trying to make conversation. "Yeah! Are you?" He asked, getting excited. _Hmm _I thought, _maybe I should tell him no, see what he does. No! You will tell the truth! _I told myself. "Yeah of course, I wouldn't miss it for the world!" I said trying to match his level of excitement. His eyes light up, and I don't know if he saw the hurt in my eyes or if he really meant it, but the next thing he said took me aback. "Sweet! I can't wait to spend another weekend with you!" He said, a smile breaking on his face. "Yeah same, last time was sweet!" I said, trying to pretend to be happy. "You going to miss me this week?" I asked, a smile spreading across my face. He started to fake sniff "Yes, allot! More then words can say...But I'll survive, I must!" He said the same smile spreading across his face. "Well, I expect a big huge on Friday then." I said. "Uh no duh! Of course!" He said walking into give me a huge. It was a thing we did, we'd ask each other that and get all dramatic about being emotional. Then we'd promise each other a huge hug and then we'd hug right then and make plans to text soon. I was surprised that I had to pull away from this huge and ruffle his hair. We stood there laughing at eachother for a few minutes, as he messed up my hair. He had brownish blond hair that reached a little passed his ears. It was shaped in a way because of his hat. He had deep blue eyes and clear skin. He was a little shorter than me but he was quiet skinny. He was everything I wanted. He gave me another small hug, said he'd text me I walked off as we yelled bye a few times. Jayden and I met up as we walked off, talking about the retreat. "And just so you know," he said as we reached the hallway "They always wake us up on Saturday night to play a game. Last year was fun, but just so you know don't get too cozy." He said smiling and hugging me. "See you next week beautiful, eh?" He said. "Of course handsome!" I yelled back meeting up with my ladies. I said my finally good byes and then sat down untill found my mom as she pulled in. "Hey, what's that?" She asked staring at the brown paper bag I held in my hand as I walked towards the car. "Ah, another study pack!" I said smiling. When exams came around, the adults would get together and create a study pack, filled with candy and sugar and bubbles and things. We headed home as I blasted the music and rolled down the windows. I looked over at my mom, her brown hair blowing in the wind. My mom coloured her hair too. It was a little shorter then shoulder length, brown with blond. She has rectangular glasses and blue eyes. She was bigger but not much taller then me. I loved my mom even when we fought. She had her big sunglasses on. I leaned back in my chair, cranked the radio and stuck my arm out the window. For once that week I felt happy, like maybe just MAYBE, this was a new start for me and Colton. And I mean a good one.


End file.
